Twin Peaks “Traces to Nowhere” Episode 2


So in the last review, if you can really call it that, I gushed over David Lynch because, well, he is David fucking Lynch!
But did you know that he was only the co-creator of Twin Peaks, yes! That’s right, it didn’t just come from that twisted brain of his.
On the topic of David Lynch’s brain, I’ve only just realised what his iconic hairstyle is… it’s kinda like; “drunken-Morrissey”!
Anyway, I digress; who is this elusive co-creator? The Alfred Russel Wallace to Lynch’s Charles Darwin, the Nikola Tesla to Lynch’s Thomas Edison, the other half of the collaborative effort that resulted in the cult wonder that is Twin Peaks?
Why? It is none other than Mark Snow who is best known for composing another iconic pop cultural phenomenon; The X-Files theme tune!
Mark was born Martin Fulterman and changed his name during his cumulative teenage years when he joined a progressive punk rock band in the late 1950’s. During that time America was recoiling from having lost the Second Amendment Wars, otherwise known as the War Against Guns… a war that they’re still losing to this very day.
When Mark joined the military during the 1960’s he only had one goal in mind and that was to take every conceivable drug in Vietnam, if only to alleviate the horrors of being in a tropical jungle surrounded by other drugged up Americans in what we now call; The War on Drugs but history likes to call it; The Vietnam War.
It was during this time that he came up with the idea to collaborate with David Lynch on a TV show that wouldn’t air for another couple of decades and because Mark Snow was a twin and he was obsessed with mountains… the name of the show would be; “Twin Peaks”.
In a completely hypothetical interview for a newspaper that doesn’t actually exist he said; “I had this utterly strange dream in the back of a resting Huey gunship helicopter. The propeller blades were rotating, ever so slightly as I peered up at them in quiet contemplation. I puffed once more on my cigarette while The Doors’ The End played on my Ipod. Ipod’s were quite big back then, they could only hold 5 gigabytes and they refused to synchronise with any Windows machine. It was okay, after all, I owned an Apple Mac. I knew my time in Vietnam was coming to an end and very soon President Nixon would be decorating me with the Purple… Badge of er… Hearts? I was quite stoned and Larry Fishburne (as he was called back then) gave me a tab of acid. Boy, did I see some serious shit! David Lynch spoke to me! His face was all like a Salvador Dali painting, melting for eternity and he said; ‘Mark… Mark… MARK!!!! Fucking Twin Peaks, MARK!’ And it was then that I knew what I must do, I had to collaborate with Lynch and make one of the weirdest murder mystery shows ever made!”
The rest is history…
You know what, it wasn’t Mark Snow (creator of The X-Files theme tune), it was Mark Frost an American novelist and screenplay-ist(?) whatever. He also wrote those two awful Fantastic Four films that starred Jessica Alba, the future-Captain America and that Welsh guy who appeared in Titanic (“IS THERE ANYONE ALIVE OUT THERE!”).
What more is there to say about Mark Frost other than he’s top-billed in the “creator” credit and nobody gives a flying fuck about him because David Lynch is, David Lynch so without further tangents (yeah right!) let’s talk about Episode 2; “Traces to Nowhere”.
We start with Special Agent Dale Cooper as he is talking to “Diane” on his Dictaphone.
I’m starting to think that “Diane” doesn’t exist and that Cooper’s poetic and almost exhaustive musings are nothing more than his own way to expel information from his brain.
His entertaining ramblings seem more like an internal monologue that he chooses to say out loud and yet the camera chooses not to show him yet. We see his gun, resting on the bedside table of his “clean, reasonably priced” hotel room. then a rifle that is held to the wall by deer hooves, a stuffed pheasant and a duck, an odd painting of a landscape with three birds ascending, a mounted fish on the wall and then…
Wait… why the hell is he hanging upside down in his underwear?

Regardless, he’s wearing some really odd footwear. They’re actually inversion gravity boots and they’re primarily used by Richard Gere in that movie’ American Gigolo. So, these are a thing apparently?! Do you want to hang upside down? Grab some inversion gravity boots!
So our favourite Special Agent concludes his message to the possibly non-existent Diane with this wonderful bit of dialogue;

“Diane, it struck me again earlier this morning, there are two things that continue to trouble me. And I’m speaking now not only as an agent of the Bureau but also as a human being. What really went on between Marilyn Monroe and the Kennedys and who really pulled the trigger on JFK?”

Yep, you’ve got your priorities all sorted right, Dale?
He heads down for his breakfast and then we’re treated to his famous line; “You know, this is – excuse me – a damn fine cup of coffee.” And what makes it so memorable is his delivery. He has such an enthusiasm that is both startling refreshing for a lead character and yet unbelievably goofy. I can’t think of another character like Dale Cooper and that’s great because there can be only one Dale Cooper. He’s an odd specimen amongst many in this show and this is a show where each character has their own idiosyncrasies. Each one feels memorable even if they’re only on screen for a brief moment.
As Cooper is enjoying his coffee he is interrupted by the obviously flirtatious, force of nature that is Audrey. Her screen time is limited in this episode, which is a shame because the actress should have been my 90’s crush. Sorry, Gillian Anderson, Sherilyn Fenn is where it’s at!
She still has an agenda that we’re not privy to and I’m under the impression that she is Twin Peaks’ femme fatale. A clear signifier of this is her red high heels, there’s a reason why the camera lingers on her provocative footwear and red has been reserved for this brand of stock character ever since detective films moved over to colour from black and white.
She doesn’t enlighten Cooper with any new leads or information, instead, she seems to be trying to steer his attention. Maybe she is just attracted to him but if there is one thing I know about Miss Audrey Horne is that she only loves herself. To her, she is a celestial being where other people are merely within her gravitational pull.
And so the scene ends with her asking Special Agent Dale Cooper if his “palms ever itch?”

Cooper finds his way to the Sheriff’s Department where the Sheriff don’t like it, rock the casbah. And everyone is enjoying sweet, sweet confectioneries. Even the human embodiment of helium; Lucy with the voice of an angel if that angel was a chipmunk is chowing down on a donut. The crying Deputy Andy is stuffing his face with a donut and there is like, nine or ten empty donut boxes just sitting there! Even Sheriff Harry Truman is in on the act in a wonderfully comedic scene.
Cooper bursts in, practically has a conversation with or in this case, at Sheriff Truman who has just forced the rest of his donut into his mouth. Cooper has already planned out their entire day but Cooper really needs to urinate so the scene ends but not before he tells Truman about the amazing coffee he just had.
They question Donna’s father who happens to be a physician. He delivered Laura Palmer but he couldn’t bring himself to do the autopsy despite that scenario being wonderfully poetic. Instead, he assisted and we’re given a breakdown of her heinous cause of death, it certainly wasn’t quick and it definitely wasn’t painless. The physician concludes with “who would do a thing like that?”

Well, we’re momentarily dragged away from Cooper and Truman and to the residence of Shelly and Leo. I’m starting to realise that they’re actually a couple and Leo is as abusive as he is suspicious.
He demands that Shelly do his laundry where she makes a startling discovery; his favourite shirt is caked in dried blood. “Who would do a thing like that?” Indeed.
It seems that Leo is more than capable of violence but is he the killer? The red flags are there but they’re so big and garrish as to be way too obvious. I would postulate that this is yet another red herring. Instead of washing his shirt, she hides it. He returns and continues to act like an abusive arsehole by grabbing hold of her cheek and ordering her as he always does.
Yep, Leo is a nasty piece of work alright but I still don’t think he’s the killer.

Back to business as Cooper and the Sheriff interrogate James the biker, the scene is very similar to the interrogation of Bobby from the previous episode. Cooper even shows James the video that he obviously shot and yet Cooper seems surprisingly sympathetic with James.
The biker is hesitant but he answers Cooper’s questions truthfully and we now know that Laura Palmer ran away from James for no discernible reason at half past midnight. He is stricken with grief because that moment was the last time he saw her alive.
We learn that Laura and James had been having a secret relationship behind Bobby’s back but Laura had left for unknown reasons. Cooper displays Laura’s crappy half-heart necklace and asks; “who has the other half of this heart?”. As the audience, we know he buried it and we also know that it was dug up but sod this! We are now treated to one of the, if not most, cheesiest flashback ever committed to celluloid.
The colours are more vivid, the scene is entirely in soft focus and we even have a “wobbly transition”, I’m pretty sure that’s the technical term?

I love this show.
I’m two episodes in and I love this show.
Good work David Lynch and Marky Mark Iceberg.

Hey look, it’s Leo and he’s being an arsehole again and now he knows that his bloodied shirt is missing. He later attacks Shelly with a bar of soap in a sock. It doesn’t matter because Bobby and Not-Eric Stoltz are back and they’re both hamming it up. In fact, the ham is so great its Dukeshill Cooked Wiltshire Ham – On the bone. Regardless of their terrible acting abilities, we do learn a few things, like why Laura Palmer had $10,000 hidden in her safety deposit box and that the money is supposed to be for Leo. Wow, Leo! You might be the real celestial being that everyone orbits!

Did you know that Zooey Deschanel has a mother? Well, I sure didn’t until her “mom” popped up in Twin Peaks. Her character is wheelchair bound but that doesn’t stop her from going fast with those fancy go-faster stripes! I can just imagine a little ten-year-old Zooey sitting on David Lynch’ lap as he directs her “mom”.
“Hey, Zooey’s mom. Keep pretending to be busy. Donna, your fictional daughter, is going to ask you why you didn’t wake her. Just tap on that calculator a little bit, keep your hands busy because you’re supposed to be disabled.”
Note: She’s not really wheelchair-bound in real life and David Lynch didn’t direct this episode. It was directed by Duwayne Dunham who also directed Disney Channel films and edited Return of the Jedi… at time of writing, I was actually wearing a Return of the Jedi T-Shirt, weird.
The scene revolves around the revelation that not only was James in love with Laura but both James and Donna were also in love as well. Twin Peaks has so many love triangles the place is a fucking emotional polygon, it’s a polyamorous polytope of promiscuous proportions and the more we learn about their partnerships the more perspicacious we are of their perpetuation within this place.
Then, by some form of narrative magic, we’re treated to a scene where both Big Ed’s wife and his lover bump into each other at the supermarket. Big Ed’s wife wears an eye patch and she is absolutely obsessed with having silent runners for her drapes. Well, she’s ecstatic because she has finally figured it out and if you too want silent runners, just utilise cotton balls!
Big revelation, right there!

Other than Big Ed being the uncle of the biker’ James. I don’t really know what this sub-plot has to do with the main course of this show. But then I remember that I’m watching Twin Peaks and that maybe I should’ve left my brain at the door.
The crux of this episode revolves around Cooper and Truman’s questioning of some of the colourful cast of characters but another major plot point is that; not only did Dale Cooper drink a “damn fine cup of coffee” today, he also drank the worst possible combination and that is fish-infused coffee courtesy of Jack “Eraserhead” Nance. What is the meaning behind this?

Maybe the plot is trying to tell Cooper that old adage; you win some, you lose some.
Regardless, they question Jocelyn Packard and Cooper had already utilised his keen abstract reasoning method to deduce that the Sheriff and Jocelyn are having a relationship.
The Sheriff already stated that with Cooper around, he may need to study medicine and change his name to Doctor Watson*.
In a way, Special Agent Dale Cooper shares characteristics with Sherlock Holmes.
For those of you who don’t know, Sherlock Holmes was a fictional character by Portsmouth goalkeeper’ Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. The character of Holmes proved to be very popular but his popularity has since waned and now this marvelous literary creation is relegated to the bowels of google searches. A shame really, for such a great nearly-forgotten character.
*Doctor Watson was Sherlock Holmes’ platonic life partner, not many people know this so I’m very surprised that such a niche reference was made in this episode.
By the end of this episode, we learn the identity of the person who dug up the necklace and it was none other than that creepy psychiatrist; Dr. Lawrence Jacoby and he marvels at the necklace while listening to Laura’s voice on his own Dictaphone… we’re a screen fade away from seeing this guy having a wank.
He’s one creepy fucker but is he the killer?
Who knows? Oh look, it’s the credits.
Rest In Peace Laura Palmer, Rest In Peace.



Twin Peaks “Pilot” Episode 1

As Angelo Badalamenti’s instrumental plays, we’re greeted by a tiny bird (of the Bewick’s Wren variety) perched on a branch… probably the branch of a Douglas Fir, Special Agent Dale Cooper’s new favourite type of tree.
Plumes from a lumber mill ejaculate into the seemingly perpetual overcast sky, the blades of a saw is being re-cut or re-milled? I’m sure an engineer or lumberjack would correct me on this but I’m just a writer who should’ve watched Twin Peaks years ago.
The slow, melodic opening music feels emotive with a sense of loss and yet it is horrendously dated. In the early 90’s my mum had a cassette tape called ‘Pure Moods’ or something and Badalamenti’s piece featured as part of the compilation. At the time I was ignorant of its connection to the show, I must’ve been 7 or 8 years old when Twin Peaks debuted on British television. I was more interested in Star Trek The Next Generation and the themes of David Lynch’ seminal TV show would have been far too adult for my tiny, innocent mind to comprehend.


Now, 27 years later and with its third season in the pipeline, I felt it was time to check out this cult wonder, this odd and fascinating murder mystery.
I have experienced David Lynch. After all, he is one of those filmmakers that have become an eponymous adjective. His influence, when paid in homage, is described as “Lynchian”. He has a way of merging the mundane with the macabre and as much as I would like to spout pretentious conjecture about the hidden meaning of the woman behind the radiator, I’m not writing about his body of work. I’m just writing about one body and that is the body of the murdered’ Laura Palmer.
You can see Twin Peaks influence in popular culture. When I was greeted by that odd choice of font, that brown text encased with a green outline, spelling out ‘Twin Peaks’. I saw that road sign with its autumnal trees, its lonely road and I instantly thought of the Playstation game’ ‘Silent Hill’.

But my naivety isn’t to blame for drawing that conclusion, it’s just an example of how David Lynch has been able to burrow into my subconsciousness. Much like the fucking soundtrack… the meandering jazz numbers that ferment into my mind jelly until all I can hear is smooth sax and finger snaps.

“She’s dead! … Wrapped in plastic!” We’re told and yet the man discovering the corpse on the riverbank is ignorant of the victim’s identity. We’re ignorant of the corpse’s name and yet she is the magnet that draws all the players into place.
And there is a lot of players! Too many to count and we’re expected to remember all of them?!

Funnily enough we do!

I can’t recall a single pilot episode of a TV show that force feeds the audience so many characters.
In the beginning, we see Jocelyn Packard. A woman from Hong Kong who is also a widow who now happens to own the lumber mill that features in the opening sequence. Big Ed who runs an “oil farm”… petrol station? Whatever. His wife has an eye patch and is obsessed with drapes, I’m sure this is a plot point later in the series. Bobby the bad boy ‘T Bird’ wannabe who, when questioned by the cops about why he wasn’t at football practice, replies; “I didn’t feel like it!” then punctuates his sentence with a snap of his fingers. He displays West Side Story levels of theatrics throughout. Then there is his best friend, can’t remember his name but he wears a red jacket and I like to call him; “Not-Eric Stoltz”, he’s got beef with Big Ed for some reason.
Then there is a prostitute that may have escaped the killer, she just so happens to be in an escort catalog that Laura Palmer kept in a safety deposit box (along with $10,000)… and while we’re on the subject of Laura Palmer, we’re introduced to her parents. Her father just so happens to be the awesome Ray Wise and her mother does the best freak out I’ve seen on TV. She’s so gratuitous with her heart-wrenching grief that it becomes hilarious to watch. It isn’t helped by the, almost, romantic music that plays over the scene.
We even hear her cries from the holes of a dropped telephone receiver while Ray Wise is being informed of his daughter’s death.
Let’s not forget Lucy, she’s the receptionist at the police station. She sounds like a voice actress who usually plays the part of children in Nickelodeon cartoons and her character seems to be incredibly empathic, especially with Deputy Andy who cries in every scene he is in. Then there’s the Sheriff who shares a name with the 33rd President of the United States, the Log Lady, Shelly and that weird trucker guy who demands that his wife(?), girlfriend(?), daughter(?) only smokes one type of brand just so that he can keep tabs on her (no pun intended).
Who have I forgotten? Oh yeah, the guy who originally found the body and the sister-in-law of Jocelyn Packard who fires a guy at the lumber mill because she’s pissed off that Jocelyn has let everybody have the day off because Laura Palmer (apparently, everybody fucking loved her) has been murdered.
Big Ed is having an affair with the waitress that Shelly works with. Big Ed has a fatherly relationship with Laura’s best friend’ Donna and she is in love with James who is a biker who seems to have a constant look of fear and apprehension on his face and no wonder! He was with Laura the night of her murder and he just so happens to have the other piece of one of those tacky Argos split-heart necklaces. He buries it but it is dug up at the end of the episode and the editing makes it look like it was part of a nightmare that Laura’s bereaved mum had!
There’s an obvious red herring in the form of a blue shoe-wearing psychiatrist who is unapologetically creepy like an old and should be forgotten BBC children’s entertainer.
What about Audrey? She’s got a mischievous and nihilistic personality trait and she’s like a happiness vampire that derives pleasure from other people’s misery. She likes to ruin everything for her own amusement, why? I don’t know?
I don’t know?
She smokes the fastest cigarette in television history before class and this is a high school where everybody is over the age of 20. This is also a high school where the soundtrack to the show is obviously non-diegetic because one of the students decides to dance, awkwardly out of shot in time with the music.
Did I mention the guy with the Indian headdress, sorry, I meant Native American headdress? He’s banging his head against a dollhouse, why? Because David fucking Lynch said so, alright!

I think I’ve mentioned all the players…

… Nope, I totally missed out the top-billed actor.

“And how could this be? For he IS the Kwisatz Haderach!” Said Paul Atreides sister in David Lynch’ Dune. Paul Atreides is in this TV show and he’s not a Muad’Dib, he’s Federal Bureau Special Agent Dale Cooper and he’s just going to out-weird everyone in Twin Peaks.

Here is his opening monologue;

“Diane, 11:30 a.m., February Twenty-fourth. Entering the town of Twin Peaks, five miles south of the Canadian border, twelve miles west of the state line. I’ve never seen so many trees in my life. As W. C. Fields would say, I’d rather be here than Philadelphia. Fifty-four degrees on a slightly overcast day. Weatherman said rain. If you could get paid that kind of money for being wrong sixty percent of the time, it’d beat working. Mileage is seventy-nine thousand three hundred forty-five, gauge is on reserve, riding on fumes here, I’ve got to tank up when I get into town. Remind me to tell you how much that is. Lunch was, uh, six dollars and thirty-one cents at the Lamplighter Inn, that’s on Highway Two near Lewis Fork. That was a tuna fish sandwich on whole wheat, slice of cherry pie, and a cup of coffee. Damn good food. Diane, if you ever get up this way that cherry pie is worth a stop. Okay. Looks like I’ll be meeting up with the, ah, Sheriff Harry S. Truman. Shouldn’t be too hard to remember that. He’ll be at the Calhoun Memorial Hospital. I guess we’re going to go up to intensive care and take a look at that girl that crawled down the railroad tracks off the mountain. When I finish there I’ll be checking into a motel. I’m sure the sheriff will be able to recommend a clean place, reasonably priced. That’s what I need, a clean place, reasonably priced.
Oh Diane, I almost forgot. Got to find out what kind of trees these are. They’re really something.”

His youthful enthusiasm and near dorky persona makes him a compelling lead to the point where he is head and shoulders above the other incredibly eccentric characters.

So allow me to talk about the plot; we open with the discovery of Laura Palmer’s corpse. She is, indeed, wrapped in plastic and she has the easiest acting role I’ve ever seen.
Throughout the episode, the actress who portrayed her had to pretend to be dead.
There’s a couple of scenes that she is in and she just lays there, just like the proverbial corpse that she is supposed to be.
The cops arrive and Deputy Andy cries while trying to photograph her as part of their rather shoddy forensic work.
The Sheriff consoles the grieving Andy because the victim is renowned. She’s Laura Palmer and everyone knows her and everyone loved her. I’m sure we’ll discover some sordid titbits of information that will change our opinion and perspective on her. It’s a fucking TV show, of course, there’s going to be extra shit to pad out their narrative. That’s how serialised television works, for fuck’s sake!
The mother of Laura Palmer is standing in a wonderfully dated kitchen, every cupboard door is veneer wood panels and the window has those little curtain swags that double up as spider hammocks. It’s the kind of kitchen where an ashtray was commonplace because it was a time when no smoking signs were a novelty. The mother smokes, the cigarette changed length in between cuts as she desperately tries to find the location of her daughter.
For fuck’s sake Laura’s mom! She’s in her mid-twenties!
No? She’s 17? Seriously?
Will that hold up in court?
Anyway, Ray Wise is on the phone to his distraught wife. He name drops other characters and ignorantly shrugs off his wife’s concern. The scene is masterly done, we’re greeted by a mundane corporate meeting involving a sale’s rep as he tries to sell real estate to Norwegian investors. Then, as Ray Wise is speaking to “mom” we see the cop car creep into the car park through the window of the reception. As Ray is trying to calm his wife, the cop strides past him, piquing his interest. The concierge gestures towards Ray Wise and the penny drops.
He knows something macabre has occurred and through paternal instinct alone, he knows his daughter is dead.
The scene ends with a dropped telephone receiver, “mom” is crying and we can hear her, we cut and she’s embroiled in the start of a full-on panic attack.
A great scene and yet with all the pieces presented to us, I’m left finding it utterly hilarious.
Why? Because the music, editing, acting and everything that encompasses it instills a sense of non-reality. I draw attention to the first opening episode of the American version of The Killing.
Both shows follow a similar narrative catalyst. Both are a murder mystery where there is more than there seems and while the latter feels real, Twin Peaks does not.
Whereas The Killing feels authentic, Twin Peaks feels like that overly complex dream you had and yet you forgot all the details seconds after waking up.
The players feel like caricatures, albeit very entertaining caricatures but due to their bizarre idiosyncrasies, they feel like cartoon characters rather than real flesh and blood people.
We watch and we are compelled, we find comfort in their other-worldliness. They’re inhuman or tainted by an environment we can only ever experience in unreleased Stephen King novels.
Maybe this is the appeal?
I digress, back to the plot; there’s a High School specifically for people who are afflicted with a very slight case of Hutchinson–Gilford progeria syndrome. They all look ten years older than they’re supposed to be but this is to be expected. It was a trend that was pretty standard fare for American television, mainly because of child labour laws.
Not only do the students look older than they should be, they also seem to have vague, ominous agendas. They all seem to know more than they’re letting on and yet they do not arouse suspicion despite their lack of subtly. Again, this is typical of television conventions.
As the Principle makes his announcement pertaining to the death of Laura Palmer we’re greeted by an empty corridor. The halls appear devoid of life and this is some kind of fucking metaphor because… Laura Palmer is ALSO devoid of life! Arty!
Donna, the best friend of Laura is consoled by background artists as she looks over to James, his expression kinda looks like what a puppy would do while its owner is about to drown it. He looks guilty as sin and he certainly knows more than he is letting on.
Audrey seems kinda happy but I wouldn’t mistake this as guilt, she’s obviously sociopathic and is now probably aware that, with Laura out if the picture she is now the most popular girl at school.
Throughout the pilot episode we are fed intrigue of the highest order and despite the number of characters, locations, plot points, we are made aware that all this has happened during the course of one day (another similarity to The Killing). Laura is discovered in the early morning, school starts and ends, the lumber mill is shut down for the day, another missing girl is found but in this case she is alive (though, completely catatonic), Dale Cooper arrives in Twin Peaks, everybody wants to go to the Roadhouse… no, not the Double Deuce and Patrick Swayze was at the height of his popularity so I doubt he would have made a television appearance.

Clues are found, people are interrogated. In one instance, Cooper is interrogating Bobby since he is the prime suspect until Cooper identifies him as just a crazy cat who races for pink slips and he’s merely just a rebel without a cause. Bobby is harmless, but during the interrogation, the boyfriend is shown a video of Laura and Donna playing in the wilderness but who filmed them?
Why Dale Cooper totally CSI’d the fuck of the video a whole ten years before CSI treated us to hyperbolic police procedural bullshit. He can see the reflection of a 1975 Harley-Davidson Electra Glide, but what colour was the bike Special Agent Dale Cooper?
“Oh, that would ruby red candy, obviously!”
Yes, this is accurate. A 1975 Harley-Davidson Electra Glide was painted in ruby red candy.
I did my research.
But who is the biker? Oh, it’s James of course. So now Cooper and Sheriff Truman are on the lookout for this elusive biker but first, they discover the crime scene where Laura met her untimely end. A scrap of paper with the name of the Twin Peaks TV movie is found, along with that aforementioned split-heart necklace.
Both James and Donna bury the other part of the necklace but are we supposed to believe that these two had anything to do with her murder? Maybe?
Regardless, a fight breaks out in the Roadhouse and the fight choreography is marginally better than that scene in the 44th episode of Star Trek (“The Trouble with Tribbles”). People are arrested and Laura’s “mom” freaks the fuck out, just because she can. Goddamnit, if you have an actor who can freak out as great as that then milk that ability… the same goes for vomiting on cue.
We end on the photograph of Laura Palmer, her forlorn and soulless eyes make her look dead while still alive.


So what did I think of the pilot episode of Twin Peaks?
I thoroughly enjoyed it and now I have to review the second episode.
Will we get any closer to discovering the truth? Will Bobby ever choose between the Sharks or the Jets? What will Audrey fuck up next? Will Big Ed’s wife ever be happy with her fucking drapes? Will that shrink be outed as the obvious sex pervert that he is? Will Andy man-up? Why does the Log Lady carry that log? What does “Fire Walk With Me” mean? Who dug up that other half of the necklace? Will the key to Laura’s diary be found and what is her connection to that escort magazine? Why did she have $10,000? Why did that guy dance awkwardly? Will I waste time looking up the model and colour of another motorcycle? Who shot Mister Burns? Is it wrong to eat cereal for dinner? What’s that smell? And when will I review the second episode?
I can answer that last one, it will be next week…